Finger-feeding a baby who can't breastfeed

Sometimes a baby is born with some sort of difficulty which makes it hard for him to nurse properly and or obtain a good latch. Sam was like that. Due to his tongue tie he wasn't able to latch onto my nipples or even suck that well. Only the second day did he attempt a little sucking and by the third day he was able to actually nurse for an entire feeding. So what happened during this time? The hospital staff fed him bottles. I had no choice, really. They did not tell me anything about hand-expressing colostrum (idiots) and they just found it easier to feed him formula, so that was what happened. My sister did give me great advice about that, though. She said to have the nurses use a breastfeeding-friendly method when administering the bottles.

If you read what the internet has to say about that, you'll see all kinds of suggestions from using an SNS (supplemental nursing system), to cup-feeding, spoon-feeding, dropper-feeding, and finger-feeding. The SNS is a really helpful tool (based on what I've read online and heard from mothers who have used them) but I don't have much info since I've never tried it out. Cup-feeding and spoon-feeding sound very messy to me. I know that Sam couldn't easily drink from a cup until he was several months old so no way could I see that working when he was a few days old! Droppers don't sound bad, and I've resorted to using that at times when he was reluctant to eat (I have plastic pipettes).

Which leaves finger-feeding. How does this work? You (or whoever is feeding the baby) wash your hands (important!) and fills a bottle with milk or formula. Then you attach a lactation aid which is really a thin tube that can attach to the baby bottle. Tape the other end of the tube to your finger and let your baby suck your finger as if it's a nipple or pacifier. Release the milk into the tube and your baby is now being fed!

This was a great method to use in our case because Sam was able to build up his sucking muscles while eating, but without the nipple confusion a regular bottle would have caused. I wanted him to learn to suck on skin, not silicone. I actually never did this because the nurses in the hospital were doing it for me, but the technique did work to help Sam suck better, and it got him fed without a bottle!

So if you're in such a situation where your baby can't nurse for whatever reason, don't give up hope. You probably can sort out your breastfeeding issue, whether it's a physical issue like tongue tie, or a milk supply issue. But in the meantime, there is no reason your baby has to be given a bottle. Bottles don't help as well as other breastfeeding-friendly methods do. Plus you can give your baby your own milk most of the time!

Honeysuckle vs Lansinoh breastmilk storage bags

Side by side of Honeysuckle and Lansinoh milk storage bags
Click to ZOOM in for better detail.

I use Honeysuckle Breastmilk Storage Bags when I pump each day. They come sterilized and are mostly non-leaky. I say that because I only experienced a few leaking bags that came from one set of bags (a set is 25 bags), but never again. And I've gone through over 500 bags. They're BPA-free and tamper-evident, as well as recyclable and biodegradable. The milk is sealed with two zip seals (like a Ziploc freezer bag).

What I really like is how the Honeysuckle bags' sides have a nice 1/4"-thick seam and the bottom is nice and sturdy. They claim that their gusseted bottom allows the bag to stand up while you fill it, but I haven't found that particularly true. I haven't seen that in the Lansinoh milk storage bags. I only used those a few times because I got a sample of them with a package of Lansinoh nursing pads.

Lansinoh claims that theirs is the largest bag out there but the Honeysuckle bags also hold 6 oz so that's clearly untrue. Lansinoh bags boast a convenient pouring spout, lay-flat capabilities, double secure zip, write-on tab and BPA/BPS-free - all of which are also present in the Honeysuckle bags. I must add that the "time" space on the Lansinoh is a good idea for people who pump twice a day. Most mothers probably don't care at what hour they pumped, but for some people it's helpful.

Additionally, the part on top where you can fill in information like the person's name, quantity of milk pumped, and date pumped, is straight up, but on the Lansinoh bags they are upside down. I don't know why that is so. While you take a look at the top part (everything above the zip seal), notice how the sides are opened on the Lansinoh bags, but sealed for the Honeysuckle bags (the sides only opened once the dotted line is torn).

As of now on Amazon, the price per 50 pieces for Honesuckle is $9.90 and Lansinoh $10.83.

So in my opinion, it pays both economically and practically speaking to purchase the Honeysuckle bags. They have better features, are nice and strong and they are actually a bit cheaper than the Lansionh bags.

Ovulation and milk supply drops

Remember I was discussing my random milk supply drops a while ago? Well I finally figured out the culprit, and it's none other than ovulation. Many mothers notice their milk supply decreasing right before they get their periods each month, but then it picks up a day or two after its onset. However, some mothers notice this same drop on or about ovulation. Like me.

Before my period returned, I just assumed that my monthly drops were during my non-existent period. Maybe it was my period getting all geared up for the big day with practice runs each month? But now that I do have a period and can see when I ovulate, I came to realize that these sudden decreases in my supply were always timed on my day of ovulation. In fact, if I want to know when I'm ovulating, I can use those drops as indicators!

This month, Sam has been teething really badly so he is nursing for longer since it apparently comforts and or soothes him. I don't mind! So doing this upped my supply quite a bit (I pumped 4.75 ounces today when I normally pump about 3 oz these days) and my boobs feel full to the touch. Still, my letdown is on vacation. It takes a really long time for it to happen, even 5 minutes sometimes. But I know I have plenty of milk. It's just a matter of releasing it. In addition, the letdown doesn't yield so much at a time. However, if Sam nurses for more than a few minutes, he would stimulate another letdown eventually.

So I should really correct my original line of "drop in milk supply" to "slow and reduced letdown reflex."

Getting a breast pump from your insurance company

I recently got a message through my contact form at the right from Shaffizan, who wrote this post on her blog. She brought up a valid point about obtaining breast pumps from one's insurance company. I'll elaborate on that a bit now.

A good double electric breast pump is an expensive item, no question about it. It's this machine trying to replicate what the human body does, so I guess that's why it isn't cheap. When you have a baby, your expenses rise like a newborn's cry and the last thing you want is yet another important but pricey item to send you over the edge. Just to give you an idea, Amazon has the Medela Pump In Style Advanced Backpack model for $218 and the Ameda Purely Yours for $159. And these are priced at below retail price. If you're like me, you're just not interested in one for that price. Especially when you know they won't last for more than a few years at best.

Enter the new Affordable Care Act which you may or may not approve of. But one thing's for sure, they definitely had breastfeeding mothers in mind (yay!). Under the ACA*:

"Your health insurance plan must cover the cost of a breast pump – and may offer to cover either a rental or a new one for you to keep.

Your plan may have guidelines on whether the covered pump is manual or electric, how long the coverage of a rented pump lasts, and when they’ll provide the pump (before or after you have the baby).

But it’s up to you and your doctor to decide what's right for you."

So the best thing to do is to call your insurance company directly, preferably before you have your baby, and ask them about their breast pump policy. It's probably easier than to go through the ten-inch thick insurance contract book. They will tell you which suppliers they're affiliated with, and you will have to be in touch with them about placing your order. Some insurance companies require you to order the pump within 30 days of giving birth so it's best to find that out early on. It's really that simple.

Now what's if your insurance company won't provide you with the model you really want? Or what's if you want to own a second pump (so you can leave one at work and keep one at home for days off)? Here's a little tip. Since basically everyone's insurance company is providing them with pumps, what's if you don't actually need a pump? They'll still give you one. So these folks now have pumps that are not in use, just collecting dust. Then they sell them on eBay or someplace.

It's not too hard to find brand new still-in-the-box pumps being sold on eBay by people who got them from their insurance companies. How do you know? They come in the same insurance-given packaging (instead of the retail packaging you find in the store). Often, you can find a good deal on these pump since the sellers don't mind making a quick buck and aren't asking for the full retail price anyway. This is how I bought my second Ameda Purely Yours pump for $45 (brand new, never used).

I personally would not use somebody else's already used pump unless I just use the base and buy my own attachments. Even though most parts could be sterilized depending on the model, there are some areas that can't be sanitized well enough without damaging the equipment. Sometimes this works as another cheap alternative: borrow or buy off somebody's actual pump, but then buy the new pump parts.

You can read more about my pumping experience here.

*The ACA will also cover other breastfeeding-related needs such as lactation support. It also requires larger companies to allow pumping time and a place to pump for mothers who require it.

Printable pumping output chart

Pumping output chart

If you're like me, the amount you pump each day is very important to you (and your baby, of course!). Some folks are pretty regular pumpers and they always produce their same amount of ounces each day. I am not like that. I often wanted to see a log of how much I pumped over a week, two weeks, or longer, but never had an organized way to do this. Until I made this chart. Just fill in the time and day of the pumping session (you can use two rows per day if you pump twice a day), and the amount you get from each side. Add it up and you've got your total pumping output per day.

Download and print the pumping output chart.

Mayday in May

One day in the middle of May Sam refused to eat. For twenty-four hours. He scared the milk out of me with this nursing strike.

For a few days he had a light fever with no other symptoms. His ears were clear and so were his lungs. I took him to the doctor to confirm that but his low fever remained for a few days. And then on Wednesday morning he nursed, but much less than normal. I didn't think much of it because he does do this sometimes. Nothing too weird for this distractible baby. I dropped him off at the babysitter. His first bottle (which was 11ish in those days) wasn't finished. He finished the rest at 2:30. And then it started. From when he came home he did not nurse one drop. Each time I brought him to my boob or even put him into a nursing position he arched his back and locked his little lips shut. He was not eating. Did I not notice?

I tried to offer my boob every our so but nada. Sam was just not going to eat and no amount of coercion was going to help. I tried nursing him outside on the swing (it was a refreshing, calm spring night), I tried other positions, I tried playing it cool (pretending I didn't care when I was worried as heck), I tried to nurse in the bathtub, but nada. I called the doctor at 10pm and he said that if he doesn't eat by the morning I should bring him in the morning so he can check him for dehydration. HELP!!!! Remember that he had a low fever and as far as I was taught, when you have fever you need to drink a lot - this was beyond nothing.

I finally just put him to bed. I tried to dream feed him before I went to bed but nope, he kept his lips shut and turned his head away. He actually pushed my boobs away with his little palms (any other day it would have been adorable). I pumped and got like 2 oz. And then he slept. He actually slept 10 hours straight that night, without waking up to eat. This never happened to him. The most he's ever gone was maybe 7 hours. The only good thing out of this was I got a full night's sleep.

In the morning he did not want to nurse. I pumped and got 4 ounces. Obviously the pump did not do a good job at all. I stayed home from work. I tried lots of skin-to-skin contact and we even bathed together. But still he turned his head away in disgust when I tried to get him to latch. I made an appointment to take him to the doctor at 2:30. I was really beyond the frantic, worried stage by now.

He was not yet eating drinking from a cup and wasn't eating solids other than occasional baby cereal. So at 2:00 I got him to take a few spoonfuls of baby cereal with expressed breastmilk. Thank goodness for that. The first time he's eating in 24 hours! Relief!

The doctor checked him out at 2 and said that he's not dehydrated because he was looking alive and following conversation, talking etc. His pupils were fine. He had tears. His mouth was moist enough. Then and there in the doctor's office, his fever broke and he felt like a sack of wet laundry. That was the finale to this whole saga.

By the time we got home, Sam was finally willing to nurse! I fed him every hour on the hour! 3:00, 4:00, 5:00... through the night! By the next morning all was back to normal.

Now the issue was my milk supply did take a little nosedive because of the lack of proper stimulation and milk removal. The few times I pumped were nowhere near adequate to maintain my supply. So when Sam finally was back on my breast, it took a long time for him to get a letdown. To help him, I'd manually stimulate for one and then latch him on to me. That helped.

The next day at work I was able to pump my usual amounts, so all's well that ends well.

But I can't do this again. Nursing strikes are not for the faint at heart.

Pump on the fritz

The time has come for my pump to big me a weak goodbye. For the past few days, I could not pump a decent quantity at work. I knew I did not have a supply issue because I had plenty in the mornings and evenings when I nursed Sam. And I had recently replaced the pump parts and they were in fine working order. So what could be the issue? The pump.

On Friday, the pump began to make protesting noises (instead of ch-CH ch-CH ch-CH, it was more like ch-ch-ch-CHAAA ch-ch-ch-CHAAA). I called Ameda parent line and the customer service agent asked me to put the phone to the machine while it's turned on so she can diagnose the sound issue. She immediately told me the pump sounded labored, and that she'd be sending out a replacement by Monday.

I knew the pump might not arrive by Monday when I need to pump so I brought in my backup pump that I keep at home. I already got more than I did on Friday. And today, Tuesday, I got a nice amount! Three cheers for new pumps that work!

If you've got an issue with your pump, call customer service today.

Plugged Milk Ducts 101

A plugged milk duct is pretty much what it sounds like: a blockage forms somewhere in the duct which prevents milk from flowing out towards the nipple. The milk then pools in that area causing lots of discomfort, pain, redness, swelling, hardness and anything else annoying. The only way to relieve it is to free the clogged area. Let's analyze this a bit.

They say that in order to prevent plugged ducts, the breasts must frequently be emptied. That ensures the passageways are free and clear for milk to pass through. Sounds fine. But plugged ducts can also be caused by the very nature of the milk. If milk is fatty it will clog faster. Makes sense, doesn't it? So someone like me is prone to clogged ducts because my milk is pretty fatty sometimes. It's not that I don't empty my breasts enough by feeding often.

They sound scary. Especially because online everyone warns you that if you do not treat the plugged duct aggressively (and immediately) then you will most likely get mastitis. I can assure you that I have never gotten mastitis from a plugged duct and I've had at least 50 plugged ducts. They often resolve with some basic care and most are gone within 24 hours or less. I'll walk you through a typical scenario.

It's 3:30 PM, just after my second pumping session at work, and I feel a bit of soreness on the inner edge of my left breast (90% of the time the plug was in that spot since they tend to come and go in the same area). By the time I come home from work I can feel real pain each time I press the area. I also see faint redness. Not like poison ivy red, but more like my boob is blushing.

Now. If I do nothing, Sam will not really enjoy eating from that side since the flow is obstructed and slower. More and more milk will pool up in the affected area. My breast will really hurt by nighttime. Tomorrow it will also be hurty.

However, here's what I do. At 3:31 I head to the bathroom at work and start to really give it to my boob. Using the heel of my hand, I press down from the top of my chest, down the affected side of the boob, and squeeze hard. It's supposed to hurt. Sometimes I'll be lucky and I'll see a white pinprick show up on my nipple right away, but other times it can take even a day to rear itself. That's the plug showing herself. I massage and squeeze (as if I'm hand expressing) and I can literally see a white piece of hardened milk pop out. Sometimes there is more than one milky clump. Often there's a few stringy strands of milk that follow. I keep massaging until nothing comes out anymore. With practice I have learned exactly where on my boob I need to press in order for milk from that specific duct to shoot out.

Some disclaimers:

• Sometimes I have to repeat the process again, so I do that after each nursing session. The area WILL feel sore after the plug is released but that clears away within a day or so. Additionally, milk will flow slowishly from that side, so your baby might not love nursing there. Always start with that side, and then hand express when you're finished nursing.
• The milk from the plugged area might also taste ickyish and salty (it has happened to me plenty of times - the milk also turned a weird shade of yellow). That's why it's common for the baby to stop nursing after a few moments because he's stopping once the milk starts tasting weird - which is when the older milk is coming down the chute.
• It often hurst to breastfeed from the affected side. This is because the area is firm and the baby cannot get a perfect latch - the shallow latch causes sore nipples.
• Sometimes you cannot release the plug via massaging. In such a case I take a hot shower and use a sterilized needle to prod the plug from below, in an outward motion (poking it inward just pushes the plug in further). You shouldn't be bleeding from this. To sterilize a needle, stick it through a flame until the tip turns red, and then rinse under cool water.
• They say to use heat either by showering or a heating pad, but I found none to be as effective as brute force of my hand massaging. The last 30 or so clogs that I had were treated solely with this method, and no heating element. 

If you catch it early, treat it early, and you'll save yourself a lot of discomfort. And having a clogged duct is a pretty good sign - for me, at least - that there's plenty of milk for the baby. In a way, I welcome these since it means I've got lots of milk!

Some like it hot, some like it cold

Sam has a very definitive taste when it comes to bottles. He will never take frozen milk that's been thawed in the fridge. Nor will he take frozen milk that's been rewarmed a second time. [update: since correcting the lipase issue and freezing immediately after expressing, Sam will take a bottle that's been rewarmed twice! So he doesn't have to finish his bottle in one shot anymore.] Now we know it's probably because of my excess lipase issue. He also likes his bottles really warm, even warmer than the temperature of milk when nursing, which is presumably 98.6 degrees or so. I wonder if that somehow masks the metallic/soapy taste caused by the lipase.

So I try to freeze my milk in two categories: full bottles like 4-5 ounces, and toppers of 1-3 ounces. This way, if I even think Sam might not want a full bottle, I try to have him take a smaller bag's worth so we don't waste so much milk. He will not take the leftovers a second time, only on random occasions, but I can't rely on that.

I don't have his bottle-taking habits down to a science because I'm not the one who actually gives him bottles. He wouldn't take one from - the last time we tried was when he was 2 months old, so who knows. Maybe he would drink from a bottle if I administered it. But there's really no need for me to give him one if I could nurse him. Sam only gets bottles at the babysitter, so she's the expert!

Letdowns

Letdowns are so weird. Usually the word signifies something negative and disappointing. But not when it comes to BFing. The word letdown brings breastfeeding mothers (and their offspring) much joy. Letdown is an easy laywoman's term for "milk ejection reflex", which is a complex, highly wondrous process that brings your milk to your baby. When the baby sucks your nipple, the nipple and areola become stimulated, which releases oxytocin (the "mothering hormone"). This causes contractions in the milk-making glands, literally squeezing them like a tube of toothpaste. The milk then shoots through the ducts on high-speed and baby enjoys the meal.

Now I never felt letdowns when nursing in the early days. I would feel random letdowns when it was on or around the time Sam would normally eat (say, 2-3 hours since last feeding). It would feel like an 18-wheeler riding over my breasts, and then my nipples would feel somewhat sore for a minute or two. I never felt this while nursing, though.

Only once my milk regulated at 3 months did I begin to feel them! About 30-60 seconds after Sam would actively start to suck, I'd feel that heavy feeling again and his sucking/swallowing pattern became steady and consistent. I'd still feel it randomly between feedings. Those were much more painful than the ones I'd feel while breastfeeding. On fuller days, I'd feel lots of these random ones, and the nursing ones would come really fast, only after a few seconds of sucking.

These days I feel letdowns most of the time, and they're not that obvious either. I usually have to focus on it in order to even notice it! I rarely get the between-feeds letdowns. On lower supply days I can't get more than one letdown per hour or so, even if I try nursing Sam two times in one hour.

I find that when pumping, I need to achieve about 3 letdowns to get 4-5 oz of milk - these days. In the past I'd get that all with one letdown. But when I nurse/pump I can only get one letdown. I don't know, I see lots of sites writing about keeping baby on the breast for longer so you can get more letdowns. I don't have that. While pumping, the initial letdown might yield only 2-3 ounces. So what do I do?

Here's how to achieve a manual letdown muuuuuch faster than using the stimulation mode on the pump. This is also great if you for some reason can't get a letdown and baby really wants to nurse already. Or if you're trying to bring baby back from a nursing strike and you want it to be appealing (i.e. milk already waiting for him at the table):

1. Try to relax. Right. Like pretend you're relaxed. Sit in a relaxing, comfortable position.
2. Start massaging both nipples at the same time - one with each hand. 
3. Try different moves to see which feels better to you: pinching, pulling, twisting, stroking, flicking, etc.  
4. Focus on what the letdown should feel like. Usually within 5 minutes you can get a letdown.
5. Enjoy the flow of milk.

For me, they are completely not psychological, but rather physical. I do not get letdowns by thinking of oceans of flowing milk nor when I look at pictures or videos of Sam (what lots of websites suggest). I can only cause myself to get them from direct stimulation, either from Sam's sucking, or from my hands. 

Fresh frozen and the excess lipase saga

Oxymoron? A scary thing happened to me, I freaked out, I worked to combat it, and it miraculously righted itself with an easy solution: fresh frozen.

Last week Monday Sam refused his normal amount of milk at the babysitter. He usually has a 5 oz bottle at around 11ish and then a 4 oz bottle at around 2-3. That day he had a total of 5 oz. Tuesday he did that again. Same with Wednesday. Each of those days he came home with the remainder of the milk in the bottle. It looked yellowish. I smelled it. I almost barfed. But milk smells, I've heard, so I daringly tasted a drop and BLECHEROO! It really tasted soapy and metallic. No wonder Sam turned it down. He has better taste than that. 

Turns out my milk has excess lipase. There are SO many articles out there that discuss it so I won't go into too much detail. But basically, everyone's BM has lipase, which is an enzyme that breaks down the fat so the baby can digest it. Usually this breaking down of lipase does not happen right away (I think it takes place inside the baby's body), but in some people, they have so much of it that the milk fat becomes broken down much quicker. Some people 4 hours later, some a day later, and some only find their freezer stash of one month old milk is bad. So it's really a unique situation for everyone.

What does one do about that? Some babies are totally cool with the yucky taste and drink the milk anyway. It's perfectly safe. Remember, the milk is just broken down, not spoiled. If baby will not drink it, don't blame him because it truly is yucko. The solution? Heat the milk (aka "scald" it) to 180 degrees and then quickly cool it before storing - this deactivates the enzyme and keeps your milk tasting delicious. That's such a pain, though, if you have to scald at each pumping session because your milk won't last the day in the fridge.

I decided to see how long my milk can "last" before it gets that ewwy taste/smell. I pumped a bit and put it in the fridge. After 4 hours it was fine. After 8 hours it already had a faint metallic taste. 24 hours later it's a strong metallic/soapy taste, plus it smells bad when heated. It didn't smell in the fridge when cold. 

Now this brought back to mind the early days when I went back to work. Sam did not take the bottle willingly at all. He would drink just an ounce or two and then another ounce or two a few hours later. He ate just to tide him over until he got hungry again. Poor boy. He did nurse well once at home and made up for it so I wasn't too worried. He was gaining weight as well. After about 3-4 weeks he would take a complete bottle. Now I think I know why. I'll bet that milk was also lipasey. In addition, Sam doesn't eat warmed up milk that slowly thawed in the fridge. Only milk that went straight from freezer to hot water. 

Later on he either A) got used to the taste and realized this is the situation and you gotta adapt, or B) the lipase was only really bad in the early days, which is common because there is more fat then or something. 

Well, now it seems to be bad again. Also lately I would freeze my milk only once I prepared the bottles for the next day - which was nighttime. Many hours after I'd pumped. So it was in the fridge during most of the day, slowly ickifying itself until the next afternoon when Sam would unwillingly drink just a bit. In the past I'd freeze the milk at work already, right after pumping - I don't know why. I just did that. Turns out that was the key to my solution.

I sent Sam some milk for this Monday that was scalded. He drank it beautifully. It also did not turn yellow, according to the babysitter. And the residue remaining in the bottle by the time he came home did NOT stink. On Tuesday I sent him with fresh frozen milk - milk that was frozen immediately after pumping - and he also drank it all really nicely!

Top: milk unaffected by lipase
Bottom: milk affected by lipase

So for now we are sticking with fresh frozen so I am spared the time-consuming task of scalding it each day. Freezing, I will dutifully point out, does cause some of the milk's important properties to be lost (scalding can also do that, btw), however it is MUCH better to serve this than formula. It's really of no health concern unless the baby only drinks frozen milk - we are talking just two bottles a day here, so no biggie.

Just a reminder: Milk that was affected by lipase activity looks yellower when thawed (but whiter when frozen), looks really fatty when warmed up, you can often see small globules of fat, it smells really bad, and has the taste of metal or soap. It IS safe to eat. The best thing to do if your baby is refusing bottles is to not blame it on the bottle - just taste the milk and you'll know for sure! Also, if you store milk for a freezer stash, defrost a bag every two weeks or so and make sure it tastes/smells fine.

Notice the picture on the left: The milk on top looks like milk should look when frozen. Pale yellow color, of even consistency. The bottom bag contains milk in which lipase already did its thing. You can see separate fatty sections and the milk is overall whiter and thicker looking.

I've been pumping for my baby (song)

(sing to the tune of I've Been Working on the Railroad)

I've been pumping for my baby
All his live long days
I've been pumping for my baby
Every day while I'm away
Don't you hear the clock announcing
Time to go pump again?
Can't you hear the momma shouting
Breastmilk, won't you flow?

Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow some more?
Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow enough?
Some days I can only pump one ounce
Some days the containers won't fi-i-i-ill
Some days there's no letdown reflex
Some days all the milk will spill
Drip drip drippity drip
Drip drip drippity drip-drip-drip-drip
Drip drip drippity drip
Dripping from the pump machine - oh yeah!
Don't you hear the momma crying
My little baby needs his milk!
Can't you hear the momma shouting
Breastmilk, won't you flow?

Something happened to my pump parts!
Something happened to my milk supply!
Something happened to my baby's latch!
Why, then, are my boobs so dry?
Drip drip drippity drip
Drip drip drippity drip-drip-drip-drip
Drip drip drippity drip

Dripping from the pump machine - oh yeah!

Sam and I - our history

A little background about our breastfeeding dyad (begins with the word die, which is what a new mom feels like the first few attempts at nursing). My baby son Sam is now almost 8 months old. Yes, I also wonder why I am starting this now and not like 8 months ago. But why not? I'm smarter now than I was then. I chose the BF route simply because I know that it's the best for my baby and for me (might as well push off AF for as long as she'll stay away), and because formula (to put it crudely) stinks. It leaves its potent stench on babies' skin and their clothing. Ewww. To be totally honest, Sam did actually have some formula right after his birth (more on that later) but since then we've been EBF. Not without its own set of monstrous challenges.

When Sam was 2 months old, I went back to work at my job which keeps us apart from 10-5 Monday through Thursday, and 10-1 on Fridays. I pump two times a day except for Friday, which just has one pumping session (thank goodness for small mercies). I can't wait to pump-wean and cut out first one pumping session, and then the second. That will be freedom because I dread pumping. Always fretting if I'll pump enough for the next day (even though I do have a freezer stash for low output days).

So this blog is about my breastfeeding experiences, good and bad, weird and normal, tricks that might work for you or might not, odd discoveries, and a bunch of non-scientific theories that I concocted. If you're like me, you are desperate for someone to understand you because internet stories are just not real life. People write what sounds good on screen, but not necessarily the real facts. Here I present to you accurate anecdotes and lots of other stuff. Who knows, you may just become inspired to BF if you aren't already doing that. I just hope this won't scare you away from your decision, though ;)