I always dread sick days. But they're even harder when you have to nurse a baby. You can't just relax and sleep in bed all day because there's a baby to feed! Well, like it or not, I did get sick for a few days last week and here's how it went:
On Thursday Sam came down with a fever and on Friday the doctor pronounced him as having a virus plus an ear infection. He had fever and the fussies until Monday-Tuesday. On Monday afternoon I already felt like I was coming down with something and I figured it was what Sam had been ill with. I also had a fever, but it was low-grade, like in the 99s. I could not sleep that night because fever makes me unable to sleep, in general. So eventually I had the sense to take Tylenol and once my fever broke I was able to sleep, although very fitfully. I barely slept Monday night and Tuesday night. Wednesday night I took 3 grams of melatonin and that got me asleep in no time!
I stayed home from work on Tuesday because my skin and bones and joints were all sore and I still had fever. I let Sam take his morning nap at home and I was able to feed him at 12 instead of having to pump at home. Then I sent him to the babysitter and like this I only had to pump once at 3. That arrangement worked out well. The rest of the day I could relax in bed and just hang around.
Because I had fever, when Sam was nestled in me while breastfeeding, his body felt so hot which worried me that his fever had returned. My husband was able to confirm that he did not feel hot!
All in all, it wasn't so bad to nurse Sam while I wasn't feeling well. For those few days it just wasn't so comfortable, and the sleep I lost while he was up at night wasn't helping me one bit, but it wasn't as catastrophic as I thought it would be!
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Breastfeeding in the park
I am not the type of person who feels she can BF her baby anywhere. It's just not easy for me. Not in terms of comfort and privacy but in terms of practicality. It's hard for Sam to have a perfect latch unless I am supporting my boob from underneath and I lift him. So that means I need a pillow and won't have free hands. No nursing in a carrier, for example. No side-lying nursing for us. No nursing in a rocking chair. Maybe it was doable when he was tiny but now that he's bigger and stronger, we have to nurse in very conventional ways. I sit on my bed with my feet dangling off the edge. I place a regular sleeping pillow on my lap (a small cushion used to work but isn't big enough anymore) and Sam lays across it. If I am feeding him from my left boob, I use my left hand to support it from the bottom and I use my right hand to keep his body pressed against mine.
So when I thought about BFing him in the park, I was sure it wouldn't work. But so far I have done that a few times this summer. We'd be in a park and it's quiet and no people are walking about. I sit cross-legged on the edge of a sidewalk and it's pretty good position-wise. My knees come up high enough to act as a pillow. It's neither noisy nor distracting, both of which are big no-nos for Sam. If I lived in quiet area with a private backyard, I'd be nursing outside all the time!
So when I thought about BFing him in the park, I was sure it wouldn't work. But so far I have done that a few times this summer. We'd be in a park and it's quiet and no people are walking about. I sit cross-legged on the edge of a sidewalk and it's pretty good position-wise. My knees come up high enough to act as a pillow. It's neither noisy nor distracting, both of which are big no-nos for Sam. If I lived in quiet area with a private backyard, I'd be nursing outside all the time!
Longer stretches at night
Knock on wood but the last few nights have been going pretty well for us, nursing-wise. I nurse Sam before I go to bed - between 11 and 12 - and then he sleeps until 5am! He wakes up the same time as always (in the sevens). I am really enjoying this nice stretch of sleep. I haven't had a stretch longer than 4 hours in months!
How did this happen? Well, we were sleep training him like this: Sam would always wake up like 2-2.5 hours after I fed him before I went to sleep. He couldn't have been hungry then. So for a few nights, when he woke up at 2am or so and started crying, either me or my husband would go into his room, pat him down and give him the pacifier. He was not hungry because he'd settle down in a few minutes and go back to sleep, and not wake up to eat until an hour or two later, which was fine with me. So it took a few days but then he realized that waking up at that time does not equal nursing so it just doesn't pay to make the effort and cry at that hour!
Sam also recently went through a really bad virus that brought with it a cold, fever, and an ear infection. He was medicated for it. But that really threw his scheduling for a loop and all training went out the window. I couldn't let him cry for a minute because I felt bad for him. I held and rocked for many hours. But thankfully, he bounced back to normal after about a week of warped scheduling, and now is giving us all a treat by taking longer stretches of sleep at night.
And when he eats at 5am, boy does he eat. This morning for example, he at for 10 minutes and then I put him back to bed. A few minutes later I hear him crying. This is unusual so I decided it means he wants to eat more! I relatched him and he ate for another 10 minutes or so! Then he ate nicely in the morning at breakfast.
How did this happen? Well, we were sleep training him like this: Sam would always wake up like 2-2.5 hours after I fed him before I went to sleep. He couldn't have been hungry then. So for a few nights, when he woke up at 2am or so and started crying, either me or my husband would go into his room, pat him down and give him the pacifier. He was not hungry because he'd settle down in a few minutes and go back to sleep, and not wake up to eat until an hour or two later, which was fine with me. So it took a few days but then he realized that waking up at that time does not equal nursing so it just doesn't pay to make the effort and cry at that hour!
Sam also recently went through a really bad virus that brought with it a cold, fever, and an ear infection. He was medicated for it. But that really threw his scheduling for a loop and all training went out the window. I couldn't let him cry for a minute because I felt bad for him. I held and rocked for many hours. But thankfully, he bounced back to normal after about a week of warped scheduling, and now is giving us all a treat by taking longer stretches of sleep at night.
And when he eats at 5am, boy does he eat. This morning for example, he at for 10 minutes and then I put him back to bed. A few minutes later I hear him crying. This is unusual so I decided it means he wants to eat more! I relatched him and he ate for another 10 minutes or so! Then he ate nicely in the morning at breakfast.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Our current schedule - 9 months
Morning
7:00-7:30: Good morning, Sam!
7:30: nurse
7:45-8:45: playtime, storytime, snacking on finger foods
8:45: nurse
9:00: we get dressed
9:15: breakfast of oatmeal and breastmilk and cut up or pureed fruits
9:30: play a bit more while Mom gets ready for work
9:45: we leave the house and Sam gets dropped off at the babysitter
10:00-12:00: first delicious nap
Afternoon/Early evening
12:00: first bottle
12:00-3:00: playtime with the kiddies
3:00: second bottle
3:00-5:00: second delicious nap
5:15: pick-up/reunion time!
Evening:
5:15-6:00: we run errands or play at home
6:00: nurse
6:30: dinner of whatever Mom makes for supper that Sam can eat
7:30: playtime
8:00: let's have a bath
8:30: nurse and bedtime routine
8:45: asleep, hopefully!
Night:
11:30: nurse before I go to bed - dreamfeed if Sam doesn't wake up by then
3:30: nurse
7:00-7:30: Good morning, Sam!
7:30: nurse
7:45-8:45: playtime, storytime, snacking on finger foods
8:45: nurse
9:00: we get dressed
9:15: breakfast of oatmeal and breastmilk and cut up or pureed fruits
9:30: play a bit more while Mom gets ready for work
9:45: we leave the house and Sam gets dropped off at the babysitter
10:00-12:00: first delicious nap
Afternoon/Early evening
12:00: first bottle
12:00-3:00: playtime with the kiddies
3:00: second bottle
3:00-5:00: second delicious nap
5:15: pick-up/reunion time!
Evening:
5:15-6:00: we run errands or play at home
6:00: nurse
6:30: dinner of whatever Mom makes for supper that Sam can eat
7:30: playtime
8:00: let's have a bath
8:30: nurse and bedtime routine
8:45: asleep, hopefully!
Night:
11:30: nurse before I go to bed - dreamfeed if Sam doesn't wake up by then
3:30: nurse
Inspiring words by Rabbi Avigdor Miller
This question its subsequent answer was posed to Rabbi Miller at one of his weekly Thursday night question-answer discussions.
Question: Why is it that so many people today neglect the privilege of nursing their babies?
Answer: Mostly it's because of yielding to the environment. Monkey sees, monkey does; that's the truth in most cases. However, some feel it's an inconvenience, they can't run around every day in the department stores because they have to be on time to feed the baby and some have other reasons; most of them not valid. However today it's realized that two big errors are being committed.
One error is, the child is being deprived of what he needs. He's not getting the exact nourishment that's made to order for him. If you feed a child a formula, even the best formula, it doesn't fully make up for mother’s milk. Because no matter how smart the doctors are, they have not yet discovered all the components. Next year or next century, they'll come up with a new element that they discovered in mother’s milk of which children have been deprived all these years. Even the best formula is inferior to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's formula. He's the best physician and He knew how to mix the proper ingredients in the best manner.
The second thing of which they deprive their children is, the feeling of being held close to their mother. And that is not only a physical thing, it deprives the child of a certain security, a certain quality that only this loving embrace can impart. When a mother holds a child close to her breast, she is giving him more than physical nourishment; it's a very important element. That poor little baby wants to cuddle up to somebody, he cuddles up to a piece of plastic and it's cheating him.
Now they take little monkeys away from their mothers, they experiment and they feed them on bottles. And they discovered that they are not as secure, they don't grow up to be proud and confident monkeys as they should become. They discovered that if they leave a bundle of rags in his cage, the little baby monkey goes up to the bundle and huddles up close to it. He's looking for a mothers embrace, it's natural.
It's a need for humanity, they must have that – as part of their food and nourishment, and that's why the child is being deprived.
Question: Why is it that so many people today neglect the privilege of nursing their babies?
Answer: Mostly it's because of yielding to the environment. Monkey sees, monkey does; that's the truth in most cases. However, some feel it's an inconvenience, they can't run around every day in the department stores because they have to be on time to feed the baby and some have other reasons; most of them not valid. However today it's realized that two big errors are being committed.
One error is, the child is being deprived of what he needs. He's not getting the exact nourishment that's made to order for him. If you feed a child a formula, even the best formula, it doesn't fully make up for mother’s milk. Because no matter how smart the doctors are, they have not yet discovered all the components. Next year or next century, they'll come up with a new element that they discovered in mother’s milk of which children have been deprived all these years. Even the best formula is inferior to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's formula. He's the best physician and He knew how to mix the proper ingredients in the best manner.
The second thing of which they deprive their children is, the feeling of being held close to their mother. And that is not only a physical thing, it deprives the child of a certain security, a certain quality that only this loving embrace can impart. When a mother holds a child close to her breast, she is giving him more than physical nourishment; it's a very important element. That poor little baby wants to cuddle up to somebody, he cuddles up to a piece of plastic and it's cheating him.
Now they take little monkeys away from their mothers, they experiment and they feed them on bottles. And they discovered that they are not as secure, they don't grow up to be proud and confident monkeys as they should become. They discovered that if they leave a bundle of rags in his cage, the little baby monkey goes up to the bundle and huddles up close to it. He's looking for a mothers embrace, it's natural.
It's a need for humanity, they must have that – as part of their food and nourishment, and that's why the child is being deprived.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Milky supply and weaning
There's one question I've always had. And it's one question for which nobody would give me a straight answer. Basically, what happens to milk supply when you cut out one feed? Does your milk supply decrease in a general way or do you just have less milk for that particular feeding? I got different mixed up answers. A midwife at my ob/gyn practice told me that milk will decrease overall, rather than a no-supply situation during that dropped feeding time.
Why am I wondering about this? I am thinking about cutting out one pumping session at work so I only have to pump once. This would happen once Sam can eat a full meal at the babysitter. But then what happens on weekends when we are together and I'd like to nurse him whenever? I don't find my body in tune with the time of day it is when it comes to nursing. Like I don't feel full on weekends at the times I'd pump if I was at work.
The way it all works is a mystery to me!
I have cut out a feed at night and didn't notice a decrease in supply or anything because Sam just ate more at the next feed. See, I nurse him at bedtime at around 8:30 (all times are "-ish") and then at 11:30 before I go to bed. Then he'd wake up at 1:30-2 for some reason. Not hunger. But I'd feed him then. And then at 5. And then in the morning whenever he'd wake up, 7-8. I decided to cut out that 2am feed because I know he's not hungry 2 hours after a decent feed. Sam would cry at that time, my husband would give him the pacifier and shush him back to sleep, and that was that. He'd wake up at 5 for a feed and eat very nicely because it's been a while since his last meal. He'd never eat well at the 2am feed because he wasn't even hungry. By now our night schedule transformed to one nighttime wake-up sometime in the 4 range, instead of crying at 2 and eating at 5.
Why am I wondering about this? I am thinking about cutting out one pumping session at work so I only have to pump once. This would happen once Sam can eat a full meal at the babysitter. But then what happens on weekends when we are together and I'd like to nurse him whenever? I don't find my body in tune with the time of day it is when it comes to nursing. Like I don't feel full on weekends at the times I'd pump if I was at work.
The way it all works is a mystery to me!
I have cut out a feed at night and didn't notice a decrease in supply or anything because Sam just ate more at the next feed. See, I nurse him at bedtime at around 8:30 (all times are "-ish") and then at 11:30 before I go to bed. Then he'd wake up at 1:30-2 for some reason. Not hunger. But I'd feed him then. And then at 5. And then in the morning whenever he'd wake up, 7-8. I decided to cut out that 2am feed because I know he's not hungry 2 hours after a decent feed. Sam would cry at that time, my husband would give him the pacifier and shush him back to sleep, and that was that. He'd wake up at 5 for a feed and eat very nicely because it's been a while since his last meal. He'd never eat well at the 2am feed because he wasn't even hungry. By now our night schedule transformed to one nighttime wake-up sometime in the 4 range, instead of crying at 2 and eating at 5.
Thursday, July 10, 2014
Galactogogues
These are products to take that can help you increase your milk supply. I don't know if I'm a believer in these really because I've only tried fenugreek and it did not help.
Fenugreek is an herbal supplement responsible for lots of things, but nursing moms will often use it to increase milk supply. It's supposed to work well but really did nothing for me in terms of boosting milk. However, it did boost my appetite - hooboy! As I've later read, fenugreek increases appetite and makes you crave carbs, a sure recipe for piling on the extra poundage.
I took it for one whole week, 4 pills every 3 hours, which is about the upper limits of the dose. That week i felt extremely hungry. All the time. I would eat everything in sight. If I controlled myself, I just ended up feeling very weak and lightheaded, a symptom of low blood sugar. It was nuts.
I did try drinking some beer and I think it helped my supply. Too early to tell for sure. But I've been drinking 1 cup of beer for the past 3 nights after putting Sam to bed.
Fenugreek is an herbal supplement responsible for lots of things, but nursing moms will often use it to increase milk supply. It's supposed to work well but really did nothing for me in terms of boosting milk. However, it did boost my appetite - hooboy! As I've later read, fenugreek increases appetite and makes you crave carbs, a sure recipe for piling on the extra poundage.
I took it for one whole week, 4 pills every 3 hours, which is about the upper limits of the dose. That week i felt extremely hungry. All the time. I would eat everything in sight. If I controlled myself, I just ended up feeling very weak and lightheaded, a symptom of low blood sugar. It was nuts.
I did try drinking some beer and I think it helped my supply. Too early to tell for sure. But I've been drinking 1 cup of beer for the past 3 nights after putting Sam to bed.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Back to the future and the sushi comparison
That's what it's going to feel like once Sam is weaned and our breastfeeding relationship is over. Soon my body will hopefully go back to what it was like pre-pregnancy. It's interesting what life would be like then. How my life will change once I am no longer nursing Sam. It comes with lots of perks, although there are definitely some un-fun parts to it too. When I asked some friends what they look forward to once they stop nursing, they answered:
- Mindy: "Being able to leave my baby with relatives so we can finally go on vacation."
- Basya: "Not pumping, and cleaning the pump especially."
- Rikki: "Freedom to be on my own time, not having to be tied down to the pump, going shopping or to weddings calmly. I also look forward to going on a diet cuz I can't diet when my body has to produce milk."
- P.K.: "not pumping at work in this 2 x 2 bathroom!"
It's interesting to see the responses. They all boil down to freedom, more or less. Suddenly you're not tied down to feeding times and pumping (if applicable). You can do your own thing and give your baby real food and regular milk.
I thought of a different aspect. A nursing mother's libido can be compared to eating sushi. Everyone you talk to is obsessed with sushi. It's such a delicacy. Regular pizza shops and take-out place boast sushi bars of late because of its popularity. Now, even if you're not particularly in the mood of sushi, you might want to taste some if others around you are indulging, simply because you know it's gotta be good if everyone likes it. Right?
During breastfeeding, the body produces oxytocin, a hormone that's responsible for providing milk for your baby. Oxytocin is great and all but comes with a downside: it suppresses libido, probably because we are supposed to be taking care of our babies and they are our primary need. A husband can wait, a hungry baby can't. So it's common for a nursing mother to be totally not in the mood. But like sushi, she knows sex is great so she does it occasionally. Even if she's not in the mood. That's tough.
So I'm looking forward to the day when my desire comes back with a vigor!
In general, it'll be great to have my normal hormones back so I know what's happening when. Not like now when my period can come back any day, without announcing herself. Or having my milk drop for no other reason than a wonky hormonal imbalance.
Some folks report their desire being even stronger while nursing! To each her own, I guess.
So I'm looking forward to the day when my desire comes back with a vigor!
In general, it'll be great to have my normal hormones back so I know what's happening when. Not like now when my period can come back any day, without announcing herself. Or having my milk drop for no other reason than a wonky hormonal imbalance.
Some folks report their desire being even stronger while nursing! To each her own, I guess.
There's nothing better...
... than breastfeeding a sleepy Sam until he falls asleep on the boob, then picking him up and letting his soft freshly-washed body lean on my chest, his fuzzy head nestled on my shoulder, breathing little puffs of air against my neck as he exhales each contended breath. It's pure bliss.
It makes me feel so grateful to be a mother, and so proud of my accomplishment of breastfeeding him thus far. It wasn't - and isn't - an easy street all of the time, but there are lovely scenic views along the way. You just have to make sure to stop at them and realize how beautiful they are. Moments like these need to be treasured. Before I know it, Sam will want to wean.
I don't get this every night, though. Often, bedtime feedings will still find Sam awake afterwards, only to promptly fall asleep in his crib a few minutes later. Which is good. It's great for babies to wake up in the same place they fell asleep. That way it's less confusing to them. If I feed Sam before I go to bed for the night then he will fall asleep while nursing and I get to enjoy him like this. But in the middle of the night, you gotta admit there isn't much appeal to nursing and no fun in sticking around to cuddle when you're so tired.
It makes me feel so grateful to be a mother, and so proud of my accomplishment of breastfeeding him thus far. It wasn't - and isn't - an easy street all of the time, but there are lovely scenic views along the way. You just have to make sure to stop at them and realize how beautiful they are. Moments like these need to be treasured. Before I know it, Sam will want to wean.
I don't get this every night, though. Often, bedtime feedings will still find Sam awake afterwards, only to promptly fall asleep in his crib a few minutes later. Which is good. It's great for babies to wake up in the same place they fell asleep. That way it's less confusing to them. If I feed Sam before I go to bed for the night then he will fall asleep while nursing and I get to enjoy him like this. But in the middle of the night, you gotta admit there isn't much appeal to nursing and no fun in sticking around to cuddle when you're so tired.
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