Nursing for fun!

It's just so much fun to nurse for fun. That is, to breastfeed when you don't really have to. This week is the holiday of Passover and that means lots of vacation days to spend with my family. Not working plus eating lots of good food is a great breastfeeding recipe, I've found. Sam is with me all day, and we spend a lot of the time with family.

A germophobe like me realizes all the nasty scenarios like kids drooling on each others' toys and stuff, a sick cousin, a sneezing nephew, etc. I figured, lemme load Sam up with protective ammo to fight off whatever he may be exposed to. So I gladly filled our days with a few nursing sessions. It's so relieving and stress-free to just nurse when you really don't have to, since Sam eats regular meals and has snacks and drinks and all that. So he technically doesn't need to nurse at all during the day. But why shouldn't he, when it's that easy for me and my boy? We both enjoyed the experience immensely.

At first I was kind of worried that these extra feedings would result in an uncomfortable increase in my supply, but it hasn't done that at all. I actually got my period a day before Passover (and our vacation) began and as you may recall from an earlier post, my milk supply jumps up during my period, after being kind of faulty from ovulation onward. So this was a perfect time to max out since my milk was flowing nicely. I had plenty, even during the day (not that I felt full or anything, just I did have availability as long as Sam sucked). Today I am back at work and don't feel uncomfortable at all - I feel like I normally do.

Speaking of sickness protection from breastfeeding, two weeks ago I came down with an awful case of strep throat. I don't know where I caught it, but it's been about 20 years since my last case of it and now it was back. I began to feel sick on a Friday but thought it was just another virus so I didn't go to the doctor. Over the weekend I felt worse and worse (with fevers, chills, aches, knife-scraping throat-ache, sore muscles... the works!) but didn't get a chance to see a doctor until Sunday. That's when I got medication and began to feel better. Now, all weekend before I took the meds I was most certainly contagious. But you know what? I was able to personally deliver the proper antibodies to Sam via our breastfeeding and that must be why he didn't contract my infection!

Breastfeeding vs. formula-feeding pros/cons for Mom

It's interesting that some of the very pros of breastfeeding are the same as those for formula-feeding, but in different ways! Just goes to show you that either method may work beautifully for each individual mom. At the end of the day it's up to you and your baby to figure out which method to use.

I've compiled a list of some of the benefits and disadvantages for both sides of the debate, from the mother's point of view. I've actually enlisted the help of my mom friends who formula feed so I can get some accurate and useful information from them. Stay tuned because I'll keep adding as I think of more pros and cons!

BREASTFEEDING PROS:

• You can breastfeed almost anywhere, any time, etc. without worrying about leaving bottles and formula at home. 
• You get to sleep more (at least in the early days) because you don't have to go make bottles in the middle of the night, nor do you have to be so on top of burping during and after feedings.
• You lose your baby weight faster.
• You lower your risk for contracting certain diseases (ovarian and breast cancer, for example)
• Lactational amenorrhea can give you months and even years of no periods!
• If qualifying for WIC and nursing a baby, you may be eligible to receive food benefits for a full year (instead of 6 months if you formula-feed).
• No nasty odor on your baby or his clothes (from spit-up) or in his diaper! 
• Baby is protected from lots of illnesses and receives your immunity from even more illnesses so you don't have to tend to a sick child as often.
• Baby may take to solids easier since he is exposed to a variety of tastes from his mom's milk since birth.
• You can use your breastmilk for so many physical ailments (e.g. in ears for during infections, in the nostrils as a moisturizer, to heal bruises quicker, for conjunctivitis).

FORMULA-FEEDING PROS:

• You can give a bottle almost anywhere, any time, etc. You don't have to pull over during car rides.
• You can leave baby with a caregiver for extended periods of time. You're not tied down to the baby's schedule.
• You don't get any of the hormonal ups and downs associated with breastfeeding
• Anyone can feed the baby, like Dad! Especially handy in the middle of the night.
• Easy option for feeding a baby if a mother has a complicated delivery and is unable to nurse.
• You know exactly how much your baby drank in a feeding so no second-guessing there.
• Your figure doesn't change much so you can actually fit into clothing you used to (no automatic boob jobs for you).
• Bottle-feeding is more accepted in public situations so you don't have to leave the room to go nurse.

BREASTFEEDING CONS:

• Hormonal differences - your body might not behave the way it did pre-pregnancy. 
• Physical issues such as inverted nipples, nursing pain, latch issues, IGT (insufficient glandular tissue)
• Milk supply levels can be a concern at times
• You have to pump if you work out of the house and can't nurse your baby.
• Only you can feed your baby, nobody else! Unless, of course, you pump (ugh).
• Not all contraceptives are ok for a breastfeeding mom.
• Mother has to watch what she consumes: no alcohol, unsafe medications, foods causing an allergy in her baby etc.
• It may be impossible to switch to nursing if you haven't early on, or if a long while has elapsed since you last nursed.
• Nursing may make you feel like a "cow" (or like having one!)

FORMULA-FEEDING CONS:

• Formula has a nasty smell and is annoying to prepare the right way (following the guidelines).
• The nasty smell continues to spit-up, diapers, etc.
• Formula stains clothing.
• Formula is expensive! So is a full stock of baby bottles.
• You can't just decide to give your baby a bottle anywhere if you're not properly equipped.
• Washing out bottles isn't that fun.
• Baby may be allergic to some formulas

Nursing at night and milk supply

On a parenting forum, someone wanted to know if she can skip feedings at night (and have her husband give the baby a bottle those times) and still keep her milk supply at a good level. It got me thinking about the ramifications of this breastfeeding "shortcut".

In the beginning, when your baby is a newborn, you start founding your milk supply "factories". Nurse often, on demand, and you are setting up lots of factories in full production mode. Nurse only sometimes, or most of the time (but not each time baby has to eat) and you're leaving out some valuable establishments. In the beginning your milk is just being produced based on your hormones that were set into motion when you experienced labor and delivery.

It's also so important to nurse AT NIGHT especially because your milk-making hormone called prolactin functions at its best during the night. So one nursing session at night can be much more effective in maintaining your supply than a session by day.

Now, at some point your milk supply will regulate. Your hormones that accompanied labor and delivery are phasing out and your milk won't be gushing out like there's no tomorrow. This point varies in women. Some find that their milk regulates at six weeks, while for others (especially those with oversupply issues) tend to find their supply regulating several months later. My supply regulated when Sam was three months old. This can happen overnight, suddenly, or gradually (for me it was rather suddenly).

At that point, your system of supply and demand takes over. Now is when your factory system comes into play. If you have 5 factories in working order versus 15 factories, it'll obviously be way harder to keep up to the demands of your baby. That's why it's so important in the early days to nurse, nurse, nurse. Your baby cannot overdose on nursing.

Some mothers who skip feedings at night will have no problem with nursing later on. But many do. A key difference would be whether the mother is separated from her baby during the day or stays at home with her child. If a mother has to pump because of a separation, it can be a lot more difficult than nursing on demand if she was at home. Say you can't produce enough with the pump, now what? But if you're at home with your baby it's a lot easier since you can nurse several times that day if your baby doesn't fill up with less feedings.

Additionally, lots of mothers have oversupply issues so skipping a feeding might make them uncomfortable later on, but wouldn't really harm their supply. Also, just because a lot of people can manage doing something, doesn't mean that this is the norm and the "right" way to approach something. A lot of people don't wear seat belts and don't die in car accidents, just as a dramatic example.

Breastfeeding, pregnancy and a miscarriage

Here's the story of the beginning and the end.

On the night of December 6, 2014, I took a home pregnancy test because I felt I might be pregnant. My period wasn't really late yet, but I didn't feel any PMS and was curious. It didn't help that I also had plenty of unused tests lying around begging to be peed on. I got a faint positive line! After a few days I retested and got the same very, very faint line. Almost unnoticeable, but it did get darker out of the time frame specified on the package. So there definitely WAS some hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin, the hormone released during pregnancy) going on there.

I finally went and got a blood test December 10th just to confirm. HCG measured at 68, which is kind of low, but doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. It was still early on. Progesterone was nice and high. The midwife who ordered the blood test and gave me the results was convincing me that I have to wean if I want a health pregnancy, but since I knew I had no problematic history and my progesterone was fine, there was really no reason to stop just yet. And it's a good thing I didn't. At that time I didn't know it, but breastfeeding would become my healing and coping mechanism.

I never experienced any pregnancy symptoms, just a missed period! No nausea, no cramping, no weird pains, no tiredness and fatigue, nothing! I kept thinking something was off because last time around I was feeling lots of symptoms at this point in the pregnancy. I got some pimples (which I never got last pregnancy). I wasn't curious for too long because on December 28th I started to bleed. First like a period, but then like Niagara Falls.

The next day I went to the ob/gyn office and the midwife who examined me said my cervix is closed so that's a good sign, but she ordered a vaginal ultrasound and blood test to see what's happening. Blood test on December 29th showed an hCG count of only 2300 which is way too low. The numbers have to double every 48-72 hours, and this was way, way behind. December 30th was the day for my ultrasound appointment and the results: no heartbeat, gestational sac inside the cervix, something else on one of the ovaries. So clear, I know. The doctor was also confused.

January 2nd I retake the blood test and the level is now at 568. That's a very good sign. Still bleeding. January 5th I pass what seems to be the embryo or whatever because it's just one big blob of something indiscernible. Finally. After that bleeding tapers off, my levels continue to drop, I breastfeed Sam.

It was so, so good that I was still able to nurse. Imagine I'd have weaned and then after this experience I'd lose that delicious, pleasurable, nurturing mothering bond. Devastating thought! Each time I nursed Sam throughout this ordeal, it gave me renewed strength. I delighted in nursing, more than I ever did.

I did not ignore the midwife's advice completely, though. I did drop two feedings in the span of those few weeks. I felt they weren't really necessary anyway, plus I needed more sleep (less waking up at night). It wasn't difficult at all because Sam ate much better and his sleeping development progressed to allow him to sleep much longer stretches at night.

Some points:

• My supply was not affected by this at all. In fact I didn't have any hormonal drops in supply that I normally got with ovulation. So that's a good thing. People think the day they become pregnant is the day their milk supply vanishes into thin air and they've got to wean ASAP. It doesn't work like that. Most of the time the supply changes occur during the second trimester.
• The myth about breastfeeding during pregnancy causing miscarriages? Well, here's an explanation: For a pregnancy to be able to continue and the fetus to grow and be supported, you need adequate levels of progesterone. That's what thickens the uterine lining every month. Breastfeeding is associated with lower levels of progesterone. In most cases, if a woman doesn't have any history of low progesterone, breastfeeding will totally not cause a loss of pregnancy.

What does breastfeeding feel like?

I saw this amazing quote in a thread on La Leche League's forum, written by MaddieB:

"ONLY mom has the goods. No one else can provide your child with what you can when it comes to nursing. Nursing is not really like anything else. Imagine the most delicious drink, the most satisfying meal, the most loving hug and the sweetest kiss all wrapped up in one package. Throw in a magical balm that instantly relieves both physical pain and emotional anguish, and you will begin to have some idea about what nursing feels like to a child."

Nursing more often than "the schedule" stipulates

Yes, I know the title is confusing but here's what I mean: Do you ever go back to breastfeeding more times a day once you already established less feedings per day? Say, you're nursing 5 times a day. Does it make sense to ever suddenly nurse 9 times a day? I think this would be ok even though it sounds "off schedule".

First of all, nursing doesn't have to be on a schedule like a high school curriculum. It's ok to nurse 8 times one day and then 20 times the next day. I do understand that it's nice to have a routine to rely on for stability. I enjoy a relaxed schedule because I work full time and we do need some sense of order. But sometimes I have to break out of that model. Like I've said numerous times, relaxed schedules are way better than fixed, rigid ones.

Like this week. Sam is nearly 15 months old. At this point he nurses once in the morning, once after work (sometimes not) and once before bed. Then he'll nurse once more during the early AM hours. This has been going on for about a month or two now. But last week he got pneumonia on top of an ear infection. And just when he was about to finish his 10-day course of antibiotics, he developed a stomach virus of some sort (we don't know yet if it's shigella - we'll get the results back one of these days). For the past two days he refused to touch any solid meals and would very reluctantly drink from a cup (only a few sips at a time).

I was scared he'd get dehydrated without the fluids and nutrition. So I turned to breastfeeding to help me out here. I just nursed him a bunch of times a day and I felt so good doing it. I was so happy I had this backup ammo to ease me out of this frightening situation. Sam would nurse almost always, even though he wouldn't want to drink other fluids. And he needed the liquids!

According to my baby's pediatrician, when a child is vomiting and or having diarrhea, the number one fluid of choice is breastmilk. Number two is Pedialyte, and number three is any other drink. I was surprised to hear him say that since it's known that many pediatricians aren't major proponents of breastfeeding. Sure they'll tell you to nurse your baby but they don't really encourage you or help you out with difficulties. Like this doctor had no problem telling me to just give formula bottles if I wanted him to drink more (as if that would work - he hardly enjoyed drinking EBM bottles!).

So we basically nursed a lot the past two days. In between, I gave him a sport popup water bottle with Pedialyte inside (that gets the fluids down a lot faster than a bottle or sippy cup would). He was able to keep some foods down, like corn flakes, baby cereal puffs, and potato sticks (the snack type that's similar to potato chips).

Now I've got one more reason for why I'm still breastfeeding Sam at 15 months :)

Sleeping through the night and breastfeeding correlation

I randomly thought about this the other day and I wonder if this idea is of any significance. I noticed that mothers of babies who sleep through the night early on (sleeping longer than 6-8 hour stretches, in this case) are less likely to nurse their babies past the half-year mark. It's just that whoever I talk to whose babies were such good sleepers as newborns and young infants said they didn't nurse beyond a few months.

Here's why I think that happens. It's widely known that milk production gets a real boost during the nighttime when prolactin, the milk-making hormone, is at its best. Nursing (or even pumping) at night really gives your milk supply an edge even beyond the nighttime. Now, if a mothers isn't breastfeeding her baby at night because the child sleeps through the night (and why wake a sleeping baby?) her prolactin doesn't really get chance to shine.

If milk supply isn't given that extra oomph from nighttime nursing, it might not function so well during the day. This is even more hampered if a mother works full time and has to rely on pumping during the day to keep up her milk supply. If a mother can stay at home with her child and nurse on demand then this probably isn't such an issue because a nursing baby can effectively extract enough milk (whereas a pump doesn't do that great of a job).

Now this is far from a scientific fact; it's just a speculation on my part. What do you think? Do you have evidence to support or disprove this claim? If yes, share it! I will try to conduct a poll about this on a breastfeeding website and share the results here.

We're back!

Sorry for the long break, but we've had a lot to deal with in the past couple of weeks. One weekend he fed for much less than normal. He'd eat for about 2-3 minutes and then refuse to take another drop. He also stopped eating solids that weren't pureed. Then on Monday, his babysitter said he acted a bit out of it. I decided to take him to the doctor and sure enough, he had an ear infection. Without fever. I've always heard that refusing to nurse, or even nursing less than normal, was a sign of an ear infection. But since Sam often had let's-just-nurse-enough-to-survive days, I don't really think into why he is nursing for less.

Then his ear infection developed into pneumonia, which lasted for a few days. And when we finally thought we were in the clear, Sam contracted some kind of stomach bug which caused him to vomit after almost every feeding and have diarrhea. This meant I had to nurse almost double the amount I was used to. I felt so spent!

When Sam got sick I finally saw why I am still making myself crazy over the nursing and pumping. I was able to give him the best nutrition and comfort that no money can buy, that no formula can offer. While his little body was raging with high fevers, chills, nausea, a deep-chested cough and other aches and pains, he was able to snuggle up to me and suck liquid gold.

This weekend Sam really made up for the amount he lost when he wasn't feeling well. He had actually lost weight during that time, by the way. Sunday, from the early AM hours until the night, Sam ate constantly. I don't know if it's a growth spurt or just making up what was lost because he was feeling better already in the beginning of the week so technically he could have made up the calories then. Why wait until the weekend?

Well, maybe he wanted to save it for the nursing time, rather than on a day when we're separated. He actually took some 15-20 minute feedings which stopped months ago!

BFing when sick

I always dread sick days. But they're even harder when you have to nurse a baby. You can't just relax and sleep in bed all day because there's a baby to feed! Well, like it or not, I did get sick for a few days last week and here's how it went:

On Thursday Sam came down with a fever and on Friday the doctor pronounced him as having a virus plus an ear infection. He had fever and the fussies until Monday-Tuesday. On Monday afternoon I already felt like I was coming down with something and I figured it was what Sam had been ill with. I also had a fever, but it was low-grade, like in the 99s. I could not sleep that night because fever makes me unable to sleep, in general. So eventually I had the sense to take Tylenol and once my fever broke I was able to sleep, although very fitfully. I barely slept Monday night and Tuesday night. Wednesday night I took 3 grams of melatonin and that got me asleep in no time!

I stayed home from work on Tuesday because my skin and bones and joints were all sore and I still had fever. I let Sam take his morning nap at home and I was able to feed him at 12 instead of having to pump at home. Then I sent him to the babysitter and like this I only had to pump once at 3. That arrangement worked out well. The rest of the day I could relax in bed and just hang around.

Because I had fever, when Sam was nestled in me while breastfeeding, his body felt so hot which worried me that his fever had returned. My husband was able to confirm that he did not feel hot!

All in all, it wasn't so bad to nurse Sam while I wasn't feeling well. For those few days it just wasn't so comfortable, and the sleep I lost while he was up at night wasn't helping me one bit, but it wasn't as catastrophic as I thought it would be!

Breastfeeding in the park

I am not the type of person who feels she can BF her baby anywhere. It's just not easy for me. Not in terms of comfort and privacy but in terms of practicality. It's hard for Sam to have a perfect latch unless I am supporting my boob from underneath and I lift him. So that means I need a pillow and won't have free hands. No nursing in a carrier, for example. No side-lying nursing for us. No nursing in a rocking chair. Maybe it was doable when he was tiny but now that he's bigger and stronger, we have to nurse in very conventional ways. I sit on my bed with my feet dangling off the edge. I place a regular sleeping pillow on my lap (a small cushion used to work but isn't big enough anymore) and Sam lays across it. If I am feeding him from my left boob, I use my left hand to support it from the bottom and I use my right hand to keep his body pressed against mine.

So when I thought about BFing him in the park, I was sure it wouldn't work. But so far I have done that a few times this summer. We'd be in a park and it's quiet and no people are walking about. I sit cross-legged on the edge of a sidewalk and it's pretty good position-wise. My knees come up high enough to act as a pillow. It's neither noisy nor distracting, both of which are big no-nos for Sam. If I lived in quiet area with a private backyard, I'd be nursing outside all the time!

Inspiring words by Rabbi Avigdor Miller

This question its subsequent answer was posed to Rabbi Miller at one of his weekly Thursday night question-answer discussions.

Question: Why is it that so many people today neglect the privilege of nursing their babies?

Answer: Mostly it's because of yielding to the environment. Monkey sees, monkey does; that's the truth in most cases. However, some feel it's an inconvenience, they can't run around every day in the department stores because they have to be on time to feed the baby and some have other reasons; most of them not valid. However today it's realized that two big errors are being committed.

One error is, the child is being deprived of what he needs. He's not getting the exact nourishment that's made to order for him. If you feed a child a formula, even the best formula, it doesn't fully make up for mother’s milk. Because no matter how smart the doctors are, they have not yet discovered all the components. Next year or next century, they'll come up with a new element that they discovered in mother’s milk of which children have been deprived all these years. Even the best formula is inferior to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's formula. He's the best physician and He knew how to mix the proper ingredients in the best manner.

The second thing of which they deprive their children is, the feeling of being held close to their mother. And that is not only a physical thing, it deprives the child of a certain security, a certain quality that only this loving embrace can impart. When a mother holds a child close to her breast, she is giving him more than physical nourishment; it's a very important element. That poor little baby wants to cuddle up to somebody, he cuddles up to a piece of plastic and it's cheating him.

Now they take little monkeys away from their mothers, they experiment and they feed them on bottles. And they discovered that they are not as secure, they don't grow up to be proud and confident monkeys as they should become. They discovered that if they leave a bundle of rags in his cage, the little baby monkey goes up to the bundle and huddles up close to it. He's looking for a mothers embrace, it's natural.

It's a need for humanity, they must have that – as part of their food and nourishment, and that's why the child is being deprived.

Back to the future and the sushi comparison

That's what it's going to feel like once Sam is weaned and our breastfeeding relationship is over. Soon my body will hopefully go back to what it was like pre-pregnancy. It's interesting what life would be like then. How my life will change once I am no longer nursing Sam. It comes with lots of perks, although there are definitely some un-fun parts to it too. When I asked some friends what they look forward to once they stop nursing, they answered:

• Mindy: "Being able to leave my baby with relatives so we can finally go on vacation."
• Basya: "Not pumping, and cleaning the pump especially."
• Rikki: "Freedom to be on my own time, not having to be tied down to the pump, going shopping or to weddings calmly. I also look forward to going on a diet cuz I can't diet when my body has to produce milk."
• P.K.: "not pumping at work in this 2 x 2 bathroom!"

It's interesting to see the responses. They all boil down to freedom, more or less. Suddenly you're not tied down to feeding times and pumping (if applicable). You can do your own thing and give your baby real food and regular milk. 

I thought of a different aspect. A nursing mother's libido can be compared to eating sushi. Everyone you talk to is obsessed with sushi. It's such a delicacy. Regular pizza shops and take-out place boast sushi bars of late because of its popularity. Now, even if you're not particularly in the mood of sushi, you might want to taste some if others around you are indulging, simply because you know it's gotta be good if everyone likes it. Right?

During breastfeeding, the body produces oxytocin, a hormone that's responsible for providing milk for your baby. Oxytocin is great and all but comes with a downside: it suppresses libido, probably because we are supposed to be taking care of our babies and they are our primary need. A husband can wait, a hungry baby can't. So it's common for a nursing mother to be totally not in the mood. But like sushi, she knows sex is great so she does it occasionally. Even if she's not in the mood. That's tough.

So I'm looking forward to the day when my desire comes back with a vigor!

In general, it'll be great to have my normal hormones back so I know what's happening when. Not like now when my period can come back any day, without announcing herself. Or having my milk drop for no other reason than a wonky hormonal imbalance.

Some folks report their desire being even stronger while nursing! To each her own, I guess.

There's nothing better...

... than breastfeeding a sleepy Sam until he falls asleep on the boob, then picking him up and letting his soft freshly-washed body lean on my chest, his fuzzy head nestled on my shoulder, breathing little puffs of air against my neck as he exhales each contended breath. It's pure bliss.

It makes me feel so grateful to be a mother, and so proud of my accomplishment of breastfeeding him thus far. It wasn't - and isn't - an easy street all of the time, but there are lovely scenic views along the way. You just have to make sure to stop at them and realize how beautiful they are. Moments like these need to be treasured. Before I know it, Sam will want to wean.

I don't get this every night, though. Often, bedtime feedings will still find Sam awake afterwards, only to promptly fall asleep in his crib a few minutes later. Which is good. It's great for babies to wake up in the same place they fell asleep. That way it's less confusing to them. If I feed Sam before I go to bed for the night then he will fall asleep while nursing and I get to enjoy him like this. But in the middle of the night, you gotta admit there isn't much appeal to nursing and no fun in sticking around to cuddle when you're so tired.

I've been pumping for my baby (song)

(sing to the tune of I've Been Working on the Railroad)

I've been pumping for my baby
All his live long days
I've been pumping for my baby
Every day while I'm away
Don't you hear the clock announcing
Time to go pump again?
Can't you hear the momma shouting
Breastmilk, won't you flow?

Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow some more?
Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow?
Breastmilk, won't you flow enough?
Some days I can only pump one ounce
Some days the containers won't fi-i-i-ill
Some days there's no letdown reflex
Some days all the milk will spill
Drip drip drippity drip
Drip drip drippity drip-drip-drip-drip
Drip drip drippity drip
Dripping from the pump machine - oh yeah!
Don't you hear the momma crying
My little baby needs his milk!
Can't you hear the momma shouting
Breastmilk, won't you flow?

Something happened to my pump parts!
Something happened to my milk supply!
Something happened to my baby's latch!
Why, then, are my boobs so dry?
Drip drip drippity drip
Drip drip drippity drip-drip-drip-drip
Drip drip drippity drip

Dripping from the pump machine - oh yeah!