What I wish I could tell every new mother

New! This list is now available as a printable!

I get so outraged when breastfeeding mothers receive inaccurate information and advice, especially when it does more harm than good. And the eager-for-education, naive new mother believes everything! So this is an ongoing list I wish I could share with all new mothers out there. I'll keep adding as I think of new things:

• Nursing is supposed to be uncomfortable in the beginning. But not for longer than a week or two. If it does hurt for longer than it should, have your baby's latch evaluated to make sure that that's not the issue.
• There is NO need to "practice" giving a bottle a day to your baby in the early weeks. This does not make your baby any more willing to take it when he or she is a few weeks old. I know this from experience. We gave Sam a few bottles when he was under 3 weeks old, which he took fine, but then he refused each proceeding bottle for a long while. We later figured out it was due to excess lipase in my expressed milk.
• If your baby is jaundiced, there is really no need to stuff your baby with formula instead of breastmilk. Breastfeed as usual, or even more than usual, and that should help in almost every case. The goal of formula in those cases is to pump digestion and elimination to rid the body of bilirubin, but breastmilk can do the same thing.
• Using an electric pump should not hurt at all. If it does, it doesn't mean that pumping is not for you - it's simply a sign that you're wearing an ill-fitting pump (or you have a plugged duct).
• Not everyone gets engorged in the beginning. I never did and milk supply was pretty fine for a while. In fact, I was probably experiencing oversupply in the early days!
• Don't be ashamed to breastfeed your baby out of the home. If you find it uncomfortable to do so in public, find a quiet or unused room and face away from other people. Don't let that stop you from venturing out of your house!
• There is no good in nursing your baby for 10-15 minutes on each side. Why is that a magical number? It isn't. Nurse on one side until your baby won't take anymore from that side, and then switch. Next feeding start with the second side. 
• Nursing babies don't normally sleep for long stretches at night until much, much later. If friends are bragging that their breastfed babies go 12 hours at night without eating, take it with a grain of salt. And remember, that's no way to maintain a healthy milk supply.
• Plugged milk ducts are NOT breast infections. They may cause one if left untreated for a very long while, though. For the record, I've had plugged ducts lasting up to a week without any infection (and the infection I did have was not even caused by a plugged duct).
• You don't have to give your baby bottles in the hospital (or any time) if he is nursing well and gaining weight. If you offer your baby a bottle after nursing he will probably guzzle it down because it's fun to suck, but it does not mean that he was hungry!
• Pumping after nursing is a great way to boost supply but there is no need to pump if you are not planning to be separated from your baby or if you already have enough milk. When doing so, pump immediately after a feeding to bring out the hindmilk (fatty stuff).

She's back!

Ok, so my Aunt Flo, aka period, returned when Sam was just a few days shy of a year. I was so surprised (not in a good, birthdayish way). This was the first one since January 5, 2012! I know that date because it was my LMP when I was pregnant.

Anyway, it DID make sense. At that time I was nursing Sam but for a shorter duration at each feeding (his choice, not mine). I can't say I really cut out any scheduled feedings, though. In turn, he ate lots of real foods. I didn't notice any drop in supply, which is pretty common. Instead, I got a drop from when the period ended until ovulation! So it was during the first half of the cycle that I experienced this.

I also stopped taking the minipill the day I got my period. This way, if I was supposed to have a withdrawal bleed, let it all come at the same time as the actual period. Which, is what happened. About 3 days after stopping the pill, I saw bright red (fresh) blood, which lasted like 2 days. So better it happened then, than at a separate time later. By the way, no change in supply after stopping the pill.

If anything, something else happened. I began to experience a VERY slow letdown. As in 3-5 minutes. By that time, Sam would be really impatient and he'd just pop off. Then he got a cold and he didn't mind hanging around the boob for comfort so he'd actually get normal full feedings. And then I discovered a cool trick: If while I nursed I simultaneously stimulated the other side (like I do when I pump) then the letdown would occur at a reasonable time. And that works great :)

Mapping my teeth - a teething overview

Sam is teething. He's already sprouted his first two teeth (the bottom ones) at 5 months, but then we had a long break. Finally, at around 10 months we saw some more activity in the teeth arena. Some things that told us he was teething (and not suffering from another ear infection):

• Nursing more. Sucking felt good to his gums. But that's not true for all babies. Some hate the sucking because it hurts them more. YMMV. Even when he wasn't actively swallowing, he still sucked, albeit weakly. Sometimes he'd even protest if I unlatched him (this was going on for half an hour already, what was I to do?!). I found that if I unlatched him and immediately gave him a pacifier, he was happy.
• Biting every bitable and unbitable surface within teeth's reach. He'd waltz over to a cheer and start chomping on its legs, for example.
• Random crying outbursts. Sam doesn't usually burst out in piercing shrieks unless he's experiencing pain. Usually crying starts out at a leisurely 5mph whine, progressing steadily to annoying whimpering, culminating in a speedy full-fledged crying.
• Loss of interest in solids that weren't pureed. What he DID enjoy was frozen foods. Cubed peaches that were stuck in the freezer. I'd let them thaw for a few minutes until they were chunky but icy and he'd enjoy that.
• Pulling at ears. People usually associate that with ear pain, but according to Dr. Sears it's actually a teething sign. Babies that young can't pinpoint the source of ear pain. But teething pain radiates to the ears and that's what they're touching when they pull on them.
• While nursing he'd bang his head like a gavel.
• And one of the most annoying symptoms, which is actually related to nursing, is increased soreness and nipple pain. In the following paragraph I'll tell you why.

Imagine I just attached another set of legs to you, for example a set of crutches. You'd be pretty clumsy at first, knocking into everything in site because you haven't yet figured out your spatial bounds. Same with teething. Sam has to map out his new teeth. He suddenly has new little pincers in weird places where he's never had them before. He doesn't know how far he can go with them yet. So while he's nursing, his latch becomes a bit sharper because there are teeth in the way. After a few days, the soreness and discomfort subside because he's realized how to maneuver his teeth. Makes sense to me when I thought of it like this.

We're back!

Sorry for the long break, but we've had a lot to deal with in the past couple of weeks. One weekend he fed for much less than normal. He'd eat for about 2-3 minutes and then refuse to take another drop. He also stopped eating solids that weren't pureed. Then on Monday, his babysitter said he acted a bit out of it. I decided to take him to the doctor and sure enough, he had an ear infection. Without fever. I've always heard that refusing to nurse, or even nursing less than normal, was a sign of an ear infection. But since Sam often had let's-just-nurse-enough-to-survive days, I don't really think into why he is nursing for less.

Then his ear infection developed into pneumonia, which lasted for a few days. And when we finally thought we were in the clear, Sam contracted some kind of stomach bug which caused him to vomit after almost every feeding and have diarrhea. This meant I had to nurse almost double the amount I was used to. I felt so spent!

When Sam got sick I finally saw why I am still making myself crazy over the nursing and pumping. I was able to give him the best nutrition and comfort that no money can buy, that no formula can offer. While his little body was raging with high fevers, chills, nausea, a deep-chested cough and other aches and pains, he was able to snuggle up to me and suck liquid gold.

This weekend Sam really made up for the amount he lost when he wasn't feeling well. He had actually lost weight during that time, by the way. Sunday, from the early AM hours until the night, Sam ate constantly. I don't know if it's a growth spurt or just making up what was lost because he was feeling better already in the beginning of the week so technically he could have made up the calories then. Why wait until the weekend?

Well, maybe he wanted to save it for the nursing time, rather than on a day when we're separated. He actually took some 15-20 minute feedings which stopped months ago!

Mayday in May

One day in the middle of May Sam refused to eat. For twenty-four hours. He scared the milk out of me with this nursing strike.

For a few days he had a light fever with no other symptoms. His ears were clear and so were his lungs. I took him to the doctor to confirm that but his low fever remained for a few days. And then on Wednesday morning he nursed, but much less than normal. I didn't think much of it because he does do this sometimes. Nothing too weird for this distractible baby. I dropped him off at the babysitter. His first bottle (which was 11ish in those days) wasn't finished. He finished the rest at 2:30. And then it started. From when he came home he did not nurse one drop. Each time I brought him to my boob or even put him into a nursing position he arched his back and locked his little lips shut. He was not eating. Did I not notice?

I tried to offer my boob every our so but nada. Sam was just not going to eat and no amount of coercion was going to help. I tried nursing him outside on the swing (it was a refreshing, calm spring night), I tried other positions, I tried playing it cool (pretending I didn't care when I was worried as heck), I tried to nurse in the bathtub, but nada. I called the doctor at 10pm and he said that if he doesn't eat by the morning I should bring him in the morning so he can check him for dehydration. HELP!!!! Remember that he had a low fever and as far as I was taught, when you have fever you need to drink a lot - this was beyond nothing.

I finally just put him to bed. I tried to dream feed him before I went to bed but nope, he kept his lips shut and turned his head away. He actually pushed my boobs away with his little palms (any other day it would have been adorable). I pumped and got like 2 oz. And then he slept. He actually slept 10 hours straight that night, without waking up to eat. This never happened to him. The most he's ever gone was maybe 7 hours. The only good thing out of this was I got a full night's sleep.

In the morning he did not want to nurse. I pumped and got 4 ounces. Obviously the pump did not do a good job at all. I stayed home from work. I tried lots of skin-to-skin contact and we even bathed together. But still he turned his head away in disgust when I tried to get him to latch. I made an appointment to take him to the doctor at 2:30. I was really beyond the frantic, worried stage by now.

He was not yet eating drinking from a cup and wasn't eating solids other than occasional baby cereal. So at 2:00 I got him to take a few spoonfuls of baby cereal with expressed breastmilk. Thank goodness for that. The first time he's eating in 24 hours! Relief!

The doctor checked him out at 2 and said that he's not dehydrated because he was looking alive and following conversation, talking etc. His pupils were fine. He had tears. His mouth was moist enough. Then and there in the doctor's office, his fever broke and he felt like a sack of wet laundry. That was the finale to this whole saga.

By the time we got home, Sam was finally willing to nurse! I fed him every hour on the hour! 3:00, 4:00, 5:00... through the night! By the next morning all was back to normal.

Now the issue was my milk supply did take a little nosedive because of the lack of proper stimulation and milk removal. The few times I pumped were nowhere near adequate to maintain my supply. So when Sam finally was back on my breast, it took a long time for him to get a letdown. To help him, I'd manually stimulate for one and then latch him on to me. That helped.

The next day at work I was able to pump my usual amounts, so all's well that ends well.

But I can't do this again. Nursing strikes are not for the faint at heart.

Pump on the fritz

The time has come for my pump to big me a weak goodbye. For the past few days, I could not pump a decent quantity at work. I knew I did not have a supply issue because I had plenty in the mornings and evenings when I nursed Sam. And I had recently replaced the pump parts and they were in fine working order. So what could be the issue? The pump.

On Friday, the pump began to make protesting noises (instead of ch-CH ch-CH ch-CH, it was more like ch-ch-ch-CHAAA ch-ch-ch-CHAAA). I called Ameda parent line and the customer service agent asked me to put the phone to the machine while it's turned on so she can diagnose the sound issue. She immediately told me the pump sounded labored, and that she'd be sending out a replacement by Monday.

I knew the pump might not arrive by Monday when I need to pump so I brought in my backup pump that I keep at home. I already got more than I did on Friday. And today, Tuesday, I got a nice amount! Three cheers for new pumps that work!

If you've got an issue with your pump, call customer service today.

BFing when sick

I always dread sick days. But they're even harder when you have to nurse a baby. You can't just relax and sleep in bed all day because there's a baby to feed! Well, like it or not, I did get sick for a few days last week and here's how it went:

On Thursday Sam came down with a fever and on Friday the doctor pronounced him as having a virus plus an ear infection. He had fever and the fussies until Monday-Tuesday. On Monday afternoon I already felt like I was coming down with something and I figured it was what Sam had been ill with. I also had a fever, but it was low-grade, like in the 99s. I could not sleep that night because fever makes me unable to sleep, in general. So eventually I had the sense to take Tylenol and once my fever broke I was able to sleep, although very fitfully. I barely slept Monday night and Tuesday night. Wednesday night I took 3 grams of melatonin and that got me asleep in no time!

I stayed home from work on Tuesday because my skin and bones and joints were all sore and I still had fever. I let Sam take his morning nap at home and I was able to feed him at 12 instead of having to pump at home. Then I sent him to the babysitter and like this I only had to pump once at 3. That arrangement worked out well. The rest of the day I could relax in bed and just hang around.

Because I had fever, when Sam was nestled in me while breastfeeding, his body felt so hot which worried me that his fever had returned. My husband was able to confirm that he did not feel hot!

All in all, it wasn't so bad to nurse Sam while I wasn't feeling well. For those few days it just wasn't so comfortable, and the sleep I lost while he was up at night wasn't helping me one bit, but it wasn't as catastrophic as I thought it would be!