Hungry? Or not?

I met a cousin of mine over the weekend. She is a new mother to a 6-week-old baby. When I casually inquired how breastfeeding was going, she smirkingly answered, "Oh, my baby gave up on me after a few weeks!" Then she explained that her baby was always "hungry" after nursing and "she always wanted a bottle afterwards" so "I wasn't going to starve her."

After hearing that I really felt bad that this happened. Of course every mother knows what's best for her child but sometimes a bit of myth-y information can really lead her to make uneducated guesses and then decisions that probably aren't best for her baby. Let's see if we can figure out what went on with my cousin's baby.

My cousin was able to pump normal amounts of milk so she did not have a milk supply issue. Her baby was able to suck ok and transferred milk fine. Her latch wasn't a problem either. So then what happened? Babies love to suck. If a baby is given a pacifier, he'll probably enjoy it! A bottle is like a pacifier in that sense so many babies will gladly take a bottle at any time if offered (although Sam was NOT that kind of kid) even if they aren't hungry. Think of yourself after having eaten a delicious dinner of rib steak, fries and vegetables. You're probably feeling well-sated and going "ahhhh". But if I then served you a gorgeous dish of gooey chocolate brownie and mocha ice cream with fudge sauce, would you honestly turn me down? Babies love a good dessert too (and formula tastes great).

My cousin nursed her baby. Her baby was probably satisfied with the feeding, but probably not overly full (like bottle-fed babies tend to become after a feeding). Her baby cried for any of the following reasons: gas, general fussiness, the need to burp, dirty diaper, wanting to nurse for dessert, wanting to be held, or one of the other thousand inexplicable reasons why baby cry. She assumed her baby was hungry and offered her a bottle, which she slurped down (think of yourself attacking your dessert plate with gusto). Was her baby truly hungry before the bottle? No.

There's actually a condition called "Perceived Insufficient Milk" (which I believe I've experienced at some point!) where a mother honestly thinks she doesn't have enough milk for her baby. This happens when a mother misinterprets her baby's cues for hunger and she therefore thinks her baby is always hungry even though she isn't. This often causes premature weaning because the mother will just end up supplementing, assuming there are no solutions anyway.